Saturday, June 4, 2011

And We're Off

We're off! Here's what we did to get ready for residential treatment:

- Hit the Korean Spa for a massage. T says he "can't go to rehab with dry flaky skin."
- Hit the mall for Polo pajama pants "perfect for lounging in the tv room at the treatment house!"
- Bought an iPod and filled it with music (his last one was confiscated by the school during one of his bad behavior sprees). "I'm gonna be spending a lot of quiet thinking time and music will help me," he said quite convincingly.
- Had a little party with a few good supportive female friends who ordered pizza, straightened up his room for him, and wished him off.
- Swung by the barbershop for a quick lineup. (Hair-tending was an early and enduring bonding thing for us.)

This morning we're listening to the Temptations. He's packing. He made off with my grapefruit ginger body lotion. He left me with strict instructions to paint his room a tasteful shade of grey while he's gone.

I laughed at myself because I keep making lists "Take your meds! Don't forget to meet us at court on Tuesday at 8 am!" "Call me if you need a ride!" and sticking them to his luggage, like he's Paddington Bear. He's lived in 16 homes in 17 years, and got used to moving on short notice with nothing more than some Hefty bags to put his clothes in and a ride from a social worker. He told me to stop making such a fuss.

I figure it's early practice for when he grows up and gets his own place someday. I'm a precocious empty-nester.

Thanks, friends, for your comments this week - truly, it makes a difference.

7 comments:

Veronica said...

When someone is going through something very challenging, the last thing they need is someone saying, "Hey, I know exactly how you're feeling." And then go on to talk all about themselves - like that's going to help.
However, I will tell you that I've had difficulties with my foster sons going off the rails in their late teens and early 20s (substance abuse, mental illness, running away) and now they are 25 and 29 and those issues are under control.
My 19-year old just recently got into drugs and is now couch surfing. I haven't seen him in a week. I am worried, but not devastated. I've seen success and I am hopeful. Please accept this as a small comfort. Take Care.

mikeco said...

I am rooting for your family.
Please know that you are an amazing mom and woman.

Sam said...

My husband and I have just started the process of becoming treatment foster parents. I just spent a week reading your entire archives and I wanted to say that I have all the hope in the world for your family.

Your blog has gone a long way towards adjusting my expectations AND making me think that if you guys can make this work, so can we.

Best of luck to you all.

Claudia said...

I'm cheering for all three of you through the internet cables.

And T's line about 'dry, flaky skin' made me laugh out loud :)

Liz said...

Such a positive post for such a potentially sad topic! Sending best wishes to your family!

M and M said...

You ARE such a mom. And, T is SUCH a young man. He's on my mind - I will be cheering for the mending of his spirit.

Jimmy said...

I was one of those kids that was an alcoholic, I was placed in a foster home and the father of the family was a heavy drinker. he was a ex-cop and I guess they over looked that. I was in that family for 7 years until they got rid of me, and I drank even more cause of that. I'm so happy to here that they have classes and instruction for the parents, back in the 60's and 70's it was a lucky draw if the kid wound up in a good family.

 
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