tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1595859314129335086.comments2023-05-26T07:27:18.007-07:00What Now?Lulu McCabehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002084871872201948noreply@blogger.comBlogger690125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1595859314129335086.post-87792891079186047932017-08-21T23:22:43.959-07:002017-08-21T23:22:43.959-07:00I just found your blog this evening and have read ...I just found your blog this evening and have read a number of your entries. The range of emotions I've felt as I've read tonight is incredible. Heartbreaking and uplifting, agonizing and joyful and I'm so glad I came across it. This past Saturday my husband and I met the young man, who will become our son, for the first time. He is 15. We will be first time parents at 36 and 43. We know there will be a honeymoon and testing and grief and loss and everything else under the sun. We know that some of it will be painful and some will be wondrous, but all will be worth it. I'm so glad T has gotten to a place where he is comfortable and becoming the young man he was meant to be. Thank you so much for sharing your joy and pain. From someone 3 days into this journey, you words have been insightful, significant and so filled with hope.<br /><br />JenniferAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10009246024680501600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1595859314129335086.post-27634239056194621902017-06-20T07:51:58.036-07:002017-06-20T07:51:58.036-07:00Thank you, this is beautiful.Thank you, this is beautiful.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1595859314129335086.post-48898845950829540752017-05-31T07:03:49.555-07:002017-05-31T07:03:49.555-07:00So glad you had that special time together. Your r...So glad you had that special time together. Your recounting made me smile.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1595859314129335086.post-88713595293861150692017-05-30T14:23:07.216-07:002017-05-30T14:23:07.216-07:00just found your blog. I'm beginning step 0.000...just found your blog. I'm beginning step 0.0001 of 1,000,000 into fostering/adopting....not sure it even is a "fit" for our family or not but it's on my heart. I'll be looking into all your past posts as I progress through the red tape of our lovely state of CA. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1595859314129335086.post-58943205311096671762017-04-12T15:13:12.172-07:002017-04-12T15:13:12.172-07:00Hello, I found your blog a couple weeks ago, while...Hello, I found your blog a couple weeks ago, while I was scouring the internet for resources as I prepare to foster a probation teenager who will be released from his group home program in a few months. I have since read every post from start to finish (though I hope the updates aren't finished), and I wanted to thank you sincerely and with a heart full of love, for your honest and thoughtful account of your experiences with T and E. I alternately cried, laughed, raged, and felt awestruck, humbled, and touched. <br /><br />Like you before fostering, I've never had kids, never particularly wanted kids, and have a full, complete, and happy life. I'm choosing to foster this kid because we bonded, we have that chemistry (your described chemistry with T was incredibly relatable), and I love the kid. I feel some anxiety about being able to meet his needs as 17-year-old with a troubled history. Your story has helped me put words to a lot of my feelings, and I feel better prepared to face the inevitable ups and downs, the bureaucracy monster, and the isolation that may come with choosing this "alternate" way to build a family. But most of all, I feel inspired by the astonishing love that shines through your story. Thank you so much for writing it.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07510777193140032368noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1595859314129335086.post-54361391586189763832017-02-13T22:01:18.853-08:002017-02-13T22:01:18.853-08:00Sounds like a great job that really works well wit...Sounds like a great job that really works well with your experience and talents. I'm glad you've found an outlet that let's you continue to learn and grow and use the insights that you've gained to help other kids as much as you've helped T and E. I just wanted you to know that I'm thinking of you (and what I'm thinking is that you're an amazing and strong woman who is giving back). <br /><br />Thank you. marythemomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08205319256573120866noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1595859314129335086.post-64383027321579077232017-01-15T20:42:30.662-08:002017-01-15T20:42:30.662-08:00thank you for your blog. i love to hear about your...thank you for your blog. i love to hear about your journey raising an adopted teenager, no easy feat. good wishes for you and your family. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1595859314129335086.post-27723646534749607822016-10-27T09:36:39.127-07:002016-10-27T09:36:39.127-07:007 years later, I am at a similar juncture. I have ...7 years later, I am at a similar juncture. I have offered to foster two brothers, maybe adopt, depending on what they want. I taught the older boy, M, who's 17. His brother, C, is 14. They have not lived together in almost 2 years, but have an incredibly sweet, close relationship.<br /><br />This post captures so much of what I'm feeling right now. I want time to speed forward to when we can all be together, but I'm also terrified at how quickly things are coming together. I know how my boys' past influences their present and future, but I know we can handle it together as a family. <br /><br />I read through your blog in 3 days this summer. I'm re-reading these earlier entries as I get closer and closer to officially starting my "pop-up" family with M, C, and me. I would appreciate any thoughts/prayers/vibes/advice you have... Thank you for your writing!!! -MWMs. Mhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12048168443488794937noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1595859314129335086.post-56489293645550866982016-09-09T21:58:43.082-07:002016-09-09T21:58:43.082-07:00My husband and I recently finished reading your bl...My husband and I recently finished reading your blog, and we would so like to hang out sometime. We resonated deeply with basically every single post you wrote. We are also with LA county dcfs and also have a late-to-us teenager (well, not a teen anymore). Mostly we feel isolated on this journey through crazy-land. If you'd ever want to meet up, please shoot me an email: lafosterparent@gmail.com. And, I'm so deeply sorry for your incredible loss.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1595859314129335086.post-65982390915145896282016-08-30T10:08:23.065-07:002016-08-30T10:08:23.065-07:00Listening. And thinking of you all as you continue...Listening. And thinking of you all as you continue to navigate these heartbreaking waters. robyncalgaryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13594204112813740304noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1595859314129335086.post-25054648211452251982016-08-21T18:07:21.965-07:002016-08-21T18:07:21.965-07:00Lulu, I've been reading your blog for the past...Lulu, I've been reading your blog for the past week, and this post prompted me to delurk myself. I've liked everything you've written so far, but your emphasis on allowing T to truly be his own person, bad moods and all, really resonates with me. Thank you for sharing your story with us. E Miranda Hernandezhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15675321254364160757noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1595859314129335086.post-51558285235209834952016-08-18T10:18:37.133-07:002016-08-18T10:18:37.133-07:00My thoughts are with you all.
I've followed ...My thoughts are with you all. <br /><br />I've followed your blog on and off for years, but think I've only posted once before. I'm not a parent and live on the other side of the world, but I am very moved by your writing and your obvious love for your boys. Your blog has so much empathy and wisdom. I'm sorry for your loss, and sorry that the people around you have done such a bad job of understanding and supporting you in the last year.<br /><br />SarahAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1595859314129335086.post-57564406771375537942016-07-18T13:50:41.233-07:002016-07-18T13:50:41.233-07:00Hi Lulu,
I recently read your blog cover to cover...Hi Lulu,<br /><br />I recently read your blog cover to cover, so to speak, over the course of the past few days. I so appreciate your tender honesty and, above all, your caring heart. I ran a tutoring program for teenage boys in a group home, and I wish all my students could land with people as thoughtful and connected as you and Tim. Thank you for everything you've done for T and E. I see flashes of my kiddos in their stories.<br /><br />Today I agreed to begin taking one of my former students, M, on weekend day passes. He is an amazing young man, and I have no illusions about just how much the odds are stacked against him. Depending on how it all goes, longer passes and full-time fostering are all on the table. I want to make sure I can follow through on what I promise him before we get that far. Still, I can't wait for our first pass to come through...<br /><br />Thank you again for sharing your family's story will all of us throughout the years. Thank you for allowing me to read your experience and reflect upon the journey M and I share. I would love to hear any words of wisdom you (and the rest of this awesome community!) have for me!<br /><br />-MollyAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1595859314129335086.post-79495183380005329372016-07-14T21:03:40.882-07:002016-07-14T21:03:40.882-07:00I was thinking about you today, wondering how you ...I was thinking about you today, wondering how you were doing, in a concerned stranger kind of way. The loss of E just seemed so unfair and cruel to your family. <br /><br />I really appreciate you writing about your family in such an honest and raw way. You really capture the joy and heartbreak of foster care/adoption.<br /><br />Congrats on your new job! Love the tattoo idea and symbolism. Susanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03625398634396068077noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1595859314129335086.post-23395008633442533982016-05-17T20:25:50.265-07:002016-05-17T20:25:50.265-07:00I just started to read your blog last night. I fin...I just started to read your blog last night. I finished just now. I have no words, only tears. I am so sorry for your loss of E. He sounds like he was a magical young man. Bless all of you. Your story has made a huge impact on me in such a short time.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1595859314129335086.post-10255360597281371252016-05-09T21:59:21.929-07:002016-05-09T21:59:21.929-07:00I was just thinking of you and your family today a...I was just thinking of you and your family today and an am pleased to see an update. I am thankful that you continue to keep your distant readers in the loop. I am even more thankful that you three have each other during this difficult time. All my best to you and your family.HRMnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1595859314129335086.post-6148545334147657022016-02-24T15:19:10.976-08:002016-02-24T15:19:10.976-08:00With tears in my eyes and shock in my heart, I rea...With tears in my eyes and shock in my heart, I read back over your last few posts. I can't believe it's been almost a year since I've visited here. Today I had seen one of your comments on an old blog post of mine and it led me here to check in with my friend, a fellow traveler on this journey of adopting teens in foster care. <br /><br />Offering condolences seems so insignificant (although of course they are heartfelt). I cannot imagine your loss. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. I wish I had something more to offer. If I can help in any way, even if it's just to lend an ear, please, please let me know. marythemommy at gmail dot commarythemomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08205319256573120866noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1595859314129335086.post-44164235249662281912015-11-16T20:56:51.869-08:002015-11-16T20:56:51.869-08:00I'm so sorry for your loss. You all are the ...I'm so sorry for your loss. You all are the richer for the love and laughter you shared. Linda S.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1595859314129335086.post-7216341400216692112015-11-15T03:14:42.069-08:002015-11-15T03:14:42.069-08:00I find words so inadequate at times like these, so...I find words so inadequate at times like these, so I'll simply say that I am so incredibly sorry for your and your family's loss of E.Amyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08412787725107933457noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1595859314129335086.post-82667084759874268832015-11-13T12:35:22.721-08:002015-11-13T12:35:22.721-08:00I'm so so sorry for your loss.I'm so so sorry for your loss.DebbieShttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17060725173055588664noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1595859314129335086.post-1553929632052069202015-11-05T12:26:38.311-08:002015-11-05T12:26:38.311-08:00I am just a stranger on the internet, but please a...I am just a stranger on the internet, but please accept my sincere condolences. I have followed your story for months. I cannot imagine what you are going through. It won't help, I know, but I'll be thinking about this young man now gone from this world, and remember him. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1595859314129335086.post-73869464777174768772015-11-03T20:11:13.802-08:002015-11-03T20:11:13.802-08:00I'm so sorryI'm so sorry Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1595859314129335086.post-21030560403413444892015-11-01T11:02:48.991-08:002015-11-01T11:02:48.991-08:00My condolences to all of you.My condolences to all of you.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1595859314129335086.post-1896995134842167552015-10-29T21:39:31.395-07:002015-10-29T21:39:31.395-07:00I am so very sorry for your loss and for T's. ...I am so very sorry for your loss and for T's. I hope your deep love for E was something he was able to incorporate into all the parts of himself - and that he had many moments of feeling bouyed by innate lovability.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1595859314129335086.post-41444466698537872552015-10-29T19:13:59.664-07:002015-10-29T19:13:59.664-07:00I have read your blog since a friend in similar ci...I have read your blog since a friend in similar circumstances linked me to you, parenting older children with trauma and first families involved, and recently similar tragedies, and I wanted to just- there are no words big enough for the grief and the love that falling in love and losing a child will bring. I hope you remember him singing for all your lives with love. DorothyUnderwoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08110979839213577443noreply@blogger.com