tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1595859314129335086.post407099932517833975..comments2023-05-26T07:27:18.007-07:00Comments on What Now?: ThreeLulu McCabehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002084871872201948noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1595859314129335086.post-23539324097748599382010-09-14T19:46:32.388-07:002010-09-14T19:46:32.388-07:00Early co-parenting is so hard, even with a biologi...Early co-parenting is so hard, even with a biological child (I did it both ways). My husband left for a seven month deployment to Iraq just three months after my adopted kids came home, and it was the best thing that could have happened to our family. I could be a mom without having to be a wife at the same time, and the kids could attach to me, without the push and pull of two (novice, inexperienced) parents. When my husband came home, they were ready to build a relationship with him. Not exactly a workable situation for most people, but it worked for us in miraculous ways. <br /><br />And I love the fact that you have so much clarity on the situation. Just being able to take a step back and notice what is happening will save you all so much grief. As a parent, sometimes you do have to put yourself on the back burner for awhile, and trust that your partner will be there on the other side. It goes faster than we realise, ya know?<br /><br />Best wishes to you all.Jenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01676704105599094119noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1595859314129335086.post-66474459122810873022010-09-08T19:42:52.102-07:002010-09-08T19:42:52.102-07:00Stellar observations of parenting AND partnering. ...Stellar observations of parenting AND partnering. Thank you.M and Mhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00557944772547796979noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1595859314129335086.post-3826414245770222252010-09-08T18:55:12.083-07:002010-09-08T18:55:12.083-07:00theres an outside chance that my comments are gett...theres an outside chance that my comments are getting old because they are all basically the same, and adoring, but if youd stop being so thoughtful and wise and well-written, I could comment on some other aspect of things.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1595859314129335086.post-25192484234522119892010-09-08T14:43:21.077-07:002010-09-08T14:43:21.077-07:00How weird that you posted this when it is exactly ...How weird that you posted this when it is exactly what I'm struggling with right now. <br /><br />We've been married over 16 years, and have had our adopted kids almost 4 years (the bio ones 11 and 14 years). My mom lives in the same city and has been keeping the kids overnight almost every weekend from the time they turn 2. "Date night" is still too little too late though. We kick the kids out of the car in Grandma's driveway after dinner and then we're so exhausted from the week that we usually watch a DVD and fall asleep (not always even making it all the way though the DVD).<br /><br />Now that we don't work together (the only good thing about a 1 1/2 hour commute!), we find we do almost all our communicating via phone or e-mail.<br /><br />My unsolicited advice, carve out more than a date night. Have a set "together time." My kids have to be in their room at 9pm. Not because they need the sleep (although some do), but because Hubby and I need adult time. Our problem is I'm a night owl and he's not, so I tend to spend the evening doing "me" stuff, instead of "we" stuff (not that "me" stuff is bad, just that we need more "we" stuff too).<br /><br />Mary in TXmarythemomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08205319256573120866noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1595859314129335086.post-2163188225756831882010-09-08T06:43:32.585-07:002010-09-08T06:43:32.585-07:00"when we're eighty, we're going to lo..."when we're eighty, we're going to look back on this time as the very best part of our lives." hahaha. 'Cause right now, I bet you are both too tired to look at anything! Seriously. Parenting older kids is indeed a challenge. My best unsolicited advice is to carve out "Date Nights" (even if it is just to go grocery shopping together) and "adult only" time in your day. We often tell the kids to go do something while we get dinner ready and use that 20 minutes to catch up on the day and make a game plan for the evening. It is easier to stake out this time now than in six months when your relationship is screaming for lack of attention and the child expects your undivided attention 24/7.Mama Drama Times Twohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04935810256080795505noreply@blogger.com